Friday, February 29, 2008
I decided that every once in awhile, I will find a picture that depicts how I'm feeling, and post it here. =) They say a picture tells a thousand words right? Hee.
For this week, it's this picture above. A little gal wearing a pretty pink dress and holding a bunch of colourful balloons. Lonely but happy.
Why such a contradictory clash of emotions? Well. Hmmm.
Lonely because jw is not here and I haven heard from him awhile. His phone line is spoilt and he can't ring back to Singapore. And he's also MIA-ing in emails and I'm still waiting for him to reply me on all the ROM updates I've given him. =) I hope I don't sound like grumbling, cos' I'm not. I'm really excited to hear his feedback on our wedding song (which I played and sang and recorded last nite using damn simple chords on the piano and a $12 microphone, keke), on my ROM dress, on the invites I did for our relatives and frenz, on his tots about how I'm thinking of decorating the chalet etc. It's like, this week has been an almost sleepless week but I felt I accomplished much and I want him to be as happy as I am about how things are progressing. Hope he will be back in action soon.
Well, so I admit I am feeling lonely, which actually I shouldn't be cos' I have my wonderful jie meis all ready to help me and I'm meeting up with the sports class pple for nice dinner at East Coast Waraku tmr. Wooo, & yesh I'm going seashell collecting tmr! Alas I gotta teach till 5pm and I only have 1 hour to roam around East Coast hunting for nice seashells. I was emailing a good fren this week, and we mentioned in our mail that frenz are ultimately different from bf/gf, and much as frenz are wonderful, there's a limit to how much they can do for you and sometimes you just wish you had that special someone by your side, for you to hug when you go to bed. When you are lonely, you end up only hugging the pillow. Quite true. So I now can't wait for April to come soon.
Well, but there's really no point in sinking yourself in sorrow and loneliness when there's so much out there waiting for you to do and explore right? I had fun shopping at Popular twice this week. Yesh, Da Zhong Shu Ju. Bought near $200 worth of art materials and stationery. Madness! =) But I realised I really love art & craft, and there are so many things I wanna do to decor the chalet or make as a gift for jw. IF only i HAVE the time. Feels like 24 hours per day is not enuff now. I wish I had more. To do the invites, to try out new origami, to record songs, to do our video, to SLEEP. Haha. All in all, I am still happy. Happy to slowly see my fruits of labour. Happy to know my frenz are going to witness my joy on 26 April. Happy to know jw is coming back.
Happy to be me.
More updates here next time.. See if you can guess my mood from the pic.. =)
~Summer~ 10:47 AM
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Sorry that my blog entries are lagging recently. Been quite busy preparing for wedding. It's really exciting, every night I have smtg to do. Be it brainstorm for ROM ideas, do up invitation cards, write our wedding song, think of how to create our video, catch up with Regent, decide on guestlist, do research, think of costumes and photoshoot venues etc etc. It's really really challenging, especially since we wanna create smtg unique and memorable for life. Neh. Heck the usual formal weddings and ROM ceremonies. We are not going the traditional way. Am so looking forward to our beach wedding on 26 April. I hope our relatives and frenz will have a great time partying wif us. & hope they dun come in long sleeved shirts or ties or formal skirts. It's a BEACH wedding! So, be creative and surprise us. =) but, i dun tink most of my close frenz read my blog anyway, so they ain't gonna see this. Boo.
Right. Apart from the wedding, I went to watch P.S. I Love You last week. With my bridesmaid-to-be, dear huimin. I dragged her along lar. Cos i heard the show was darn good and there was no way i was going to miss it. She almost fainted when she realised there were no chinese subtitles, cos basically she couldn't catch half of what they said. Sorry babe! Anyway, the show stars Hilary Swank (I really like her) and Gerard Butler, and it's based on the novel by Cecelia Ahern. I'm currently on the search for the book. Keke.
The movie talks about this couple, Holly and Gary, who have been married for 10 years, but have no kids. They are like any other couple, they have bickers often, they quarrel, they fight, they have problems with their in-laws, but deep down the fact that remains is that they love each other so very very much. One day, Gary dies suddenly because of a tumour, leaving Holly alone to deal with the world. Shock, despaired, hurt, she doesn't know how to even carry on with life.
That's when she received her 29th bday present from Gary, the guy who was no longer in this world. Gary had planned a series of 10 letters to her, each with a purpose or a task for her to execute. Each was sweet, each brought back lovely memories, and each helped to pick her up and move on with life. Yeah. It may be too far-fetched to be true. But let me indulge in my fantasy world once in a while, and imagine that this is real k? I did. I cried so much when the last letter was read out. About how much he loved her, and how she made him feel like a man, how she drove him crazy, how she made him complete. And how he always ended his letters with P.S. I love you. It's so sadly sweet, that the person who most understood her in this universe was no longer by her side, but yet he actually never ever left. & he would always be around. Anyway, the adorable huimin came to ask me what is P.S. Haha.
They say the book is even better than the movie. So yeah. I'm eagerly waiting to have a chance to pounce on it and read it. =)
If you have some time and $8.50 to spare, go watch it. =) If you don't like it, just tell me lor. Not that I will refund you. Wahaha.
Be back soon. Ciaoz!
~Summer~ 3:49 PM
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
I watched 'The Leap Years' yesterday. Stars Li Lin, Ananda Everingham, Qi Yu Wu & Joan Chen. Sad, romantic, sweet love story. As usual, I cried. None of my other friends did, so they laughed at me for being emotional. Fine. I admit. Guess I'm just easily touched. Wonder if that's a good or bad thing after all.
"In three words, I've learnt everything I needed to know about life -- It goes on."
I heard this quote before, but somehow, seeing it appear in the show yesterday stirred up some feelings again. Quite a sad quote dun you think? That even if the sky comes crumpling down, life still has to go on.
Even if a loved one decides to break up with you after a 5-year relationship, life goes on.
Even if your parents are getting divorced tomorrow, life goes on.
Even if you fail your thesis and can't obtain your master degree, life goes on.
Even if a famous celebrity passed away today, life goes on.
Even if a car accident ripped you of your limbs and you become paralysed, life goes on.
Even if you get paid $2K a month and your job sux, life goes on.
Even if the worst of the worst happens to you, as long as you are breathing, life just goes on.
I can write a never ending list here if I wanted to. Of the bad things that can happen to someone. But I guess if we are to always mourn or be sad about the bad things in life, we should also remember all the good things in life that happened to us. Fair mah. Haha. If not, we will take the happiness for granted and complain that life ain't fair when bad things befall.
When you get a promotion in your job or a pay raise, life is good and it goes on.
When you go overseas for a fabulous getaway and have a great relaxing time wif ur frenz, life goes on.
When you attend your best friend's wedding and cry as she says her vows, life goes on.
When you see your baby niece coming into this world, life goes on.
When you go on a shopping spree, life goes on.
When you watch a movie that touches your heart, life goes on.
When you go St James and have fun partying wif ur beloved frenz, life goes on.
When you have CNY steamboat wif your loved ones in the comfort of your home, life goes on.
When you receive a nice bday wish or prezzie from a long lost fren, life goes on.
When you hold your granny's hand in yours as you cross the road, life goes on.
When you win $$ at mahjong, be it just $2, life goes on.
When you go par tor with the love of your life, even if you dine at a hawker centre, life goes on.
When you finally accept his marriage proposal, life is good and it goes on.
RIGHT?
Countless other good things can happen to me and to you. & when it happens, I wanna be grateful for it. I wanna cherish it. I wanna remember that feeling of bliss in my heart always.
Bad things or good things, come what may. I guess I'm prepared for it! Haha. Zuo ren yao kan de kai. & be positive about life, which in itself is the most precious gift there ever can be.
I just told a good fren of mine today that I'm the kind of person who laughs very hard when something good happens, and cry my heart out when something bad occurs. But after the cry, I guess I will pick myself up and treat it as a lesson of life. Are you like me? Letting emotions dig deep of you, allowing it to control you sometimes, allowing your tears to flow, allowing your laughter to burst out, allowing each and every emotion to strike a chord in your heart. Probably you will understand me better if you are a girl. Haha. Not that guys are deviod of emotions, but somehow, they can suppress it better than girls.
Lalala. Right. End of today's thoughts. Ciaoz!
~Summer~ 2:06 PM
Monday, February 18, 2008
I realise recently, that so many people out there do not believe there's such a thing called true love in this world.. "Love, can be bought with money..."
"There's never 'The one', but there will be someone out there who happens to be at the right time at the right place. & you get married and spend the rest of your lives together. Because nobody wants to be lonely..."
"All the things about true love are fake. Especially in Singapore, where we live in such a realistic society. We are the 'products' of Singapore."
"I asked my colleague why she married her rich husband. She replied, 'Do you want to live in a HDB and take public transport all your life?'..."
"There's no more such thing as sheng xi xiang xu.."
"You can never like one person only for the rest of your life..."
It's so depressing. Whatever happened to all the goodness and richness of love that should be spread around and be felt by every living thing in this world? When did it become such a superficial, worthless entity that is so easily na de qi fang de xia (ie. forgotten once it's past)? Why do people sell away their lives, their bodies to someone they dun love for the pure sake of money? Love should be something much more deeper than that. It is so pure, so rich, and I never do like to hear it being degraded to something more like a product or toy than anything else.
At least, I will believe in "The One". There is!!! You don't marry out of desperation, or out of tired of waiting, or out of simply wanting a companion for life. You marry becos you LOVE that person whom you put the wedding band on, you marry becos you wanna give him all that you can give and make him the happiest man alive, you marry becos you know he will give you the life you deserve, you marry because you wanna have kids and a family together, you marry because you WANT to, not becos you need to. I just wish people out there have more faith in love. I just wish, that love can manifest itself and grow in all our hearts.
I don't like to hear all the depressing thoughts. Because I know that it ain't true. Some may think I'm naive, creating a perfect vision of true love which doesn't exist in real life, and creating a fairytale shell when there's no such thing as fairytale love in this world. I'm not trying to hide behind any cover or mask and creating a superficial front for ourselves just to make people believe we are a wonderful couple. This is really how I see our love journey. That junwei and I are meant for each other, that we are going to live happily ever after, and we will show to the world that there is such a thing called "The One". Becos other than him, I really don't think there will be anyone else who will love me as much, or anyone else whom I can imagine walking down the aisle with. Absolutely no one else.
I just hope I am right, decades down the road.. I don't wanna look back on this blog entry and realised how silly and gullible I was.. I don't wanna be one of those who regretted her choice.. & I will never let anyone make me see my cup as half empty instead of half full..
Hope everyone out dere had a great Vday and Friendship Day. =) Love prevails. & it is out there for us to reach and hold onto so long as we try hard..
~Summer~ 12:31 AM
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
We finally managed to file for our notice of marriage. Hee. After much hassle in finding a venue and a nice JP, with a stroke of luck and much perseverance, we have secured Aloha Changi Fairypoint Chalet and JP Koh for our solemnization on 26 April. Yippie YAY!!! *jumps up for joy*
Yesh yesh, so I'm going to be someone's wife from 26 April onwards. Kinda apprehensive, but toally excited and enthusiastic about it. Wahaha. I wonder what's going to rush in my head when I take the pen and sign the papers. Will I hesitate? Will I cry? Will I laugh? Will I just stone? Hmmm. I dunno now. I will tell u more after I do so. Whatever it is, at least I'm 100% sure I won't regret. & ain't it the most important thing?
So 26 April will be another party for us. YAY! I LURVVEEE PARTIES!! But well, we can't possibly invite every single one of whom we would love to invite, so it will be a more quiet affair this time around with around 100 guests (of which relatives take up around half!). So in case I don't get to invite you, so sorry bout it, but you can watch this space or our wedding site for some updates on our programs, what games we played, what forfeits we did, how we pledged our wedding vows, what we wore, what my jie meis wore, how we decor the chalet etc. It's gonna be real FUN!!! =)
Counting down the days.. & brainstorming for a nice name to theme our beach wedding.. woohoo..
~Summer~ 12:42 PM
Sunday, February 03, 2008
Yeah. Tonight I'll be attending the kung fu dunk gala premiere. Woohoo. And jay chou's gg to be here too. Hope the movie does well. This is one of the perks of my job, isn't it? Having the chance to work on movie clients and attend all the galas and meet the stars. Well, i guess it's the best part of my job and i totally embrace and enjoy it. Hope lijun will enjoy tonight with me too since she adores him but didn't watch his concert in the end. Be back soon! Have a great sunday!
~Summer~ 2:59 PM