Tuesday, September 29, 2009

No booze doesn't mean no fun..

It has definitely been awhile since we went on a Friday Night Out. I mean, being preggie at 30 weeks means not only you can't drink, and it may really be hard to still go on the dance floor like the old times. But last Friday, we decided not to cook dinner and to go to town instead. Yippie yayyy!! I was delighted to see the newly renovated Nivö with the more spacious dance floor, disco lights and even dry ice effect. They should have had it long time ago. Haha. But well, I really wonder when will be the next time jw and I can hit it off to the dance floor together. Quite impossible, right? Who's gonna look after baby angel? Well, maybe when we get back to s'pore, I guess.

Woo guess what? Last week we had sweet potato for breakfast. Haha. Yeah. Just steamed sweet potato dipped in sugar. No no, it's not cos' we are trying to scrimp and save or that we have become totally broke to rely on potatoes for meals. But it was cos' we saw this big sweet potato in the supermarket and it seemed interesting to try to eat it lidat. It was really sweet and yummy!

And well, I think both jw and myself know that I've been having a bigger appetite than usual. Not that my appetite was small to begin with. Nowadays, I need to have tea break everyday and supper too. Haha. While I know that chocolate, cocoa, sugar, honey are all fattening and not the most healthy or nutritious food for our baby, but trust me, it feels like heaven digging into these foods. Haha. I still drink Milo, Horlicks, Cocoa and eat alot of chocolate coated biscuits, waffles or sugary biscuits like the yummy Su Da Bing (Soh Da Pia in hokkien) coated with a layer of sugar. Oh, not to mention nutella, my fav sauce with bread. Hee. Well, a happy mum makes a happy baby right? Keke. Today I decided to eat pancakes for a change during tea break. But guess what, I actually ate 15 of them at one shot. Along with butter and honey on them. Keke. They are so tiny!

So although the gynae in s'pore told me choco and stuff are not good cos it makes me fat and not make the baby healthy, well, I don't really heed that advice. I think all things in moderation are okie, and above all, you need to have a happy mind to have a happy baby in the end. Keke. So, along with the 11kg I've gained, I'm thinking that I will soon be heavier than jw in a few weeks' time. Haha. That will be a first! Btw it's our 74th monthliversary today! Hee. Happy 74th dardar!!! Hope you liked your lunchbox today though we couldn't eat lunch together! Well, till the next update, tata!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Meh meh...

We bought the first big, bulky baby necessity a couple of weeks ago. Hee. Yeah yeah, it's a stroller for bb angel!! We were planning to go see see look look, but in the end we gave in to the salesperson who said that this set was the last one and thus had a 10% discount. Keke. Well, we still spent over S$1k for the whole set. *pocket burns*

But well, the sheep design is kinda cute, and since jw is born in the year of sheep (no moo moo for angel though!), it was pretty apt. & also cos' it's grey in colour with little pink and green flowers, well, it suits both a baby boy and girl! Hmmm. Just in case we get a baby boy (still a very slight possibility) this time round, or a few years down the road. Anyway we called it the meh meh stroller. It came with a cot (for infant up till about 6 months), a seat (from 6 months onwards), a sling bag for baby stuff, a cosy toe to keep baby warm in cold weathers, and a baby bear as a gift from the shop.

It's still hard to picture me or jw pushing the meh meh pram when we go shopping or out for walks. Keke. But well, it will become a reality in a few months' time! Right now, I'm just very excited and looking forward towards bb's arrival, despite the knowing that it won't be an easy time for me. I think I will be glad for the company, and I'm really eager to hold her in my arms! Hee. I guess jw is feeling the same way too. 10 more weeks to the big day! Well well, till more baby shopping updates soon!! Tata!

~Summer~ 6:06 AM

Friday, September 18, 2009

Making myself happy

Have you ever gotten the feeling that emotions are getting the better of you and you can't seem to control them?

Well, I admit I have. Many times. I'm a typical girl and a typical Venetian. Which is why when I read Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, I kind of have to agree with many things written inside. Jw doesn't seem to believe in books, but I do, the fact that it's a best seller and has helped to reconcile so many near divorce cases means that there is some truth in it, I feel.

Over the past years, there were many times when some things that jw said or did that upset me. Of course, I must have done things which provoked him too. But the thing is, maybe guys are more heck care or maybe he can keep his emotions in check better than me. So I am always the one in tears, in frustration, in agony, in pain till the storm blows over. Sometimes I think I really get upset by little things and trivial stuff, but you know that feeling of "I just can't help it!!"??

For example, jw has always been a natural charmer since young. He was a cute boy and he sure has a way with words. I remember he told me he used to receive love letters in school from girls and there will be many people going to the badminton court to cheer for him when he was the star player. Alot of girls, I bet. Keke. I confess, I was charmed too. He had so many close girl friends since he started schooling and he has always been popular with girls. Even up till uni too, he was a senior who was very 'seh' and cool and bad boy type, maybe that's why attracting many girls. Nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai, right? I mean, that was how we got hitched too, it needed that first attraction and it wasn't long before I fell head over heels for this charmer. And a charmer will always be a charmer, and will always be popular and have many close girl friends, so you have to accept and acknowledge it even when you become the woman in his life.

But love is never ever smooth, right? I mean, I can talk about the lovey dovey and fairytale portions of our love journey, but there must be the hard times too. After all, men and women differ by so much,their needs and wants can be so different and hard to comprehend sometimes. I admit women are complicated creatures, because I think I am! Therefore, so many times along the years, we had quarrels. Some heated ones, some milder ones, some cold ones, some unsolvable ones. And there will always be more to come.

Sometimes, I really feel I need to get a hold on myself and my thoughts. It's scary when negative thoughts come rushing in and you can't dispel them no matter how hard you fight. Makes you unable to sleep, sianz to eat, and basically no mood for anything, UNLESS you talk it out with your partner and thrash things out. But yet, sometimes after thrashing out, you felt that it was pointless or it didn't help things but worsened it. Or that you were just being over-sensitive and childish to react to something that your partner didn't view as significant.

There are times when I feel lonely and that no one understands me. Of cos, it's most unbearable when I feel that even jw doesn't know how I feel deep down. Probably most people have such feelings too? My emotions can take a roller coaster ride, and it is through age and experience that I try to keep them more in check.

Today, instead of picking up the baby book to read, I read the Mars and Venus book again. Read about the primary wants of men and women and how they can be extremely different. I guess it helps me to calm my thoughts. And there was a line I particularly liked, "Do things that make you happy instead of waiting for him to make you happy". How true. I think women can make themselves much happier if they choose to open their hearts, learn to let go of trying to change men, learn to put down unhappy things and do other more enjoyable stuff. It's hard I know. But not impossible.

As for me, I like to write down my inner feelings when I feel I need an outlet. There were times when I wrote many letters to jw last time, not knowing if they helped but hoping that they will help him to understand me better. There were times when I wrote for the sake of writing but never shared with him, because ultimately I could re-read what I wrote and think of the whole episode again and calm away my own fears and despair, without even telling him. And in the past year, ever since we got married, another tactic was for me to think about the below whenever I had unhappy thoughts.

It will be: Why did he marry me? I will think of alot of my flaws and shortcomings, and feel glad and thankful that there is someone who still loves me and wants me as his wife. When I think about my own flaws, I also try to oversee his flaws then because really, no one is perfect.

1. I am not pretty.

2. I don't cook yummylicious food.

3. I throw silly tantrums once in awhile.

4. I get jealous sometimes.

5. I can be mean with words when I am frustrated.

6. I am sometime selfish and put my needs above others.

7. I can be demanding.

8. I am a lazy person deep down.

9. I can be real stubborn.

10. I can be very defensive and hard to accept critism.

I can think of more bad points if I want to. It doesn't mean I am really a bad bad person, to be fair, but it's also true that I have many points in my character that are not worthy of praise and can be improved upon. But if jw can accept the way I am, why can't I accept the way he is? Maybe one big mistake women do is always trying to change the man for who he is, thinking that it's for his own good when he himself is resistant and doesn't see any fault in him being like that. If you really love a person, love him for who he is, not who he is not.

I was just thinking about this line that my friend said. That I was the one who taught him how to be contented with life in JC. I think I really believe in zhi zhu chang le, but why is it that as I grow older and presumably wiser, sometimes I forget that simple motto in my life, to be happy with what you have, not sad about what you don't, and cherish life to the fullest. Is it because we all turn blinded, or greedier, or more demanding, or basically just more easily disgruntled with life as we turn older?

Well, the point of this long story is just that I hope I can always look on the bright side of things and see the goodness in my life. Summer is a name for a reason. Hopefully the older we get, the more we'll learn to treasure our lives and our loved ones, and know how to forgive, forget and let go and not always think about the bad side of things. Life ain't perfect, but life can be truly happy.

~Summer~ 11:11 PM

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Cherishing these times...

Jw and I spent a nice weekend together before he took off again. By saying nice, I don't mean we did anything special. All we did was feed the swans and ducks, went for a brisk walk, cooked and ate together, watched variety shows and movies together, nua and slept together. But well, it was nice to be back to er ren shi jie again. Which, counting down, only boils down to one month plus more for us to cherish and enjoy before our parents arrive and before dear little angel arrives. Must really zhen xi!!

Well, in addition, being as free as I am now, preggie but with no work and no studies and no real commitments to talk about yet, I decided to do some art and craft to pass my idle time away. So, besides signing up myself for some scrapbooking class (which I'm hoping there will be enough participants for the class to commence this month. Anyone in Karlskrona interested in joining me? =p), I also did the pearl portrait for jw as a surprise.

Of cos, this was one of our favourite wedding shots. The silhouette shot we took in the studio with jw inside my veil. So, I decided to use it as the foreground for my pearl portrait. Keke. Why did I say pearl portrait, well, it's cos the picture is made up of many many tiny pearls to form the final product. This portrait alone used up 5,400 pearls! And sounds as though it may be alot, it actually wasn't because I finished it in three days. Well, maybe I was really bored. Waha.

I guess no one can tell it's us in the pic, unless they saw our wedding shots before. Keke. But well, I still loved it and I think jw liked it nonetheless. =) So we framed it up and placed it in our living room. Hehe. I am thinking of doing one for baby angel next time too!

Besides art and craft, last week, I also took the effort to search for some egg tart recipe and tried making my own egg tarts since I thought they were one of the easiest things to bake. Keke. Well, it didn't end up too bad. Quite yummy though jw said maybe the egg part wasn't totally cooked. Haha. Eh oh, which means I gobbled down raw eggs. But well, I still love my egg tarts. It's a first for me!

Now, I'm counting down and hoping these two weeks will fly past. Angel will into Week 30 when daddy is back, and very soon, she will be saying Hello to the world. =) So, I tell myself to cherish every moment I have, be it with deardear or be it by myself, because very soon, all this will change. The best thing I'm doing now is enjoying my long zzzzzz. Wahaha. It won't be long before I need to wake up so very often in the middle of the night, so now, I am really enjoying all the sleep and naps I can get. Wahaha. Tata!!

~Summer~ 1:13 AM

Friday, September 11, 2009

~HoOrAY!~

Yippie yay, we have finally graduated!!~ Oh yeah, by saying we, I mean both me and jw!!~ Wahaha. That's right. Miraculously, we both survived and cleared our MBA course. Lalala. Happy for myself, and even happier for my dear. =p

So, I guess it's really time to bid farewell to all exams, projects and assignments. Like I thought I will, I still miss that feeling abit. Not very, but sometimes abit. Because taking the MBA, learning jap and swedish was what took up my free time in Sweden and made me feel that I am still learning something and making the most of my life.

But hey, talk about timing, now that our academic life has just ended, it's right in time for the arrival of our little angel!

From reading journal articles and textbooks to digesting baby books and articles.

From writing kanji and doing jap homework every week to writing down things to buy for baby.

From conjuring imagination and creativity for the thesis to doing scrapbooks, videos and photo albums for our family of 3 next time.

From taking online exams and campus exams to the real exam in life: the challenge of being a parent.

Ta-dah. I am going to undergo more changes in life! Sounds quite exciting to me, though of cos' there is apprenhension nonetheless.

Wooo here are my newly received certs! Not that I am very proud of them or think that they will be of great use in future, but still, they are an achievement and something memorable. Not every couple gets to take masters together and pair up for groupwork and go campus for exams together, right? It's a memory, for sure.

So again, congratz dear for passing the course and obtaining the degree that no one ever thought you would (considering how you fared in uni, keke)!!~ Yeah I know you think you owe me alot for it, for doing your thesis and even helping out in exams, but still, want ya to know I am proud of you for surviving and not giving up halfway! You are indeed very smart, no need study also can pass most of the time. Hee. That's why you are my hubby! wahaha.

Right. Time to go cook again! Now that popo and ah yi have gone back to KL, it's back to me myself and I to cook again! Will cherish the remaining of our er ren shi jie before Nov hits! Tata!

~Summer~ 12:57 AM

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Dear bb, we feel you!

Baby Angel is getting so active this month! I can feel her in the morning, in the afternoon and also when I go to bed. From gentle, mild movements, she has started showing us power and vigorous punches and kicks!~

Which should be a good thing right? Wahaha. But sometimes I just feel that maybe all the choco and cocoa and tea I am taking in is what's making her so hyper. Keke. But well. Nice to feel her still!

Woo and jw and I were just saying one night, we keep calling her Angel and Rui En now, scarly in december it turns out to be a baby boy and he will be wondering why we keep calling him Angel. Keke. Well well. There's a chance, though slim. Guess we are prepared for anything, but just hope baby will be safe and healthy!!~ (Hmmm, a look at all the pink bb clothes and girly hats doesn't seem to validate the point that we are prepared =p)

So, I am listening now to another mp3 I asked jw to record for baby. Hee. If not, she will be bored listening to the same words and same song week after week when daddy is not around. Keke. At least now I can alternate. =p

Well, good night for now! Time to sleep now! Twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are...

~Summer~ 5:59 AM