Wednesday, July 18, 2007
TA-DAH!! These are the 6 countries we'll be visiting.. from 22 July to 8 Aug.. Yeappie yay.. I bought a new camera today!! Will post up the pics here soon.. Hope to capture some nice scenery shots worrrr..
Looking forward to the break.. and here's a happie 4th year anni to us dear!! Fwahhhh.. so long liaoz.. =p
~Summer~ 12:29 AM
Sunday, July 15, 2007
The first white roses i bought in my life... Jus for ishi...
Made my way to the temple on my own today to visit him. Boy, it was scorching hot when I was walking to the temple from Tanah Merah station. But well, was listening to his songs along the way and I knew nothing's gonna stop me from going to visit him today. Determination yar. =)
Was super glad and relieved that I did everything I did. From the mini booklet I made for him last week to the CD rom that I burnt yesterday with all his videos/songs/pics that I could find. I finally learnt how to download clips from youtube and convert to mpg. Wow. & it's actuallie so simple. Really wonder why I had to wait until now before I finally sat down & learn how to do it. Why did I procrastinate so much about so many things in my life. Why did I take so many things for granted. Haiz. He juz makes me realised sooo many things about my life.
Like what I hoped for, his parents were there. & we actually sat down to chat for over an hour. Sometimes I really have to believe in fate. It was fated that I didn't manage to burn the booklet last week and it was left on the altar and they managed to read every little thing I wrote inside. It was also fated that I met them today, just them, and 3 of us had a good long chat. His dad said I helped to fulfill his dream of compiling a collection of ishi's works. I just felt super glad to know that finally I did something right and something useful for his family. Huimin was saying the CD might make them sadder and reminded of him, and perhaps it wasn't such a good idea. Well, I'm so glad I went ahead with it nonetheless, & spent nites downloading and watching all his clips. Wrote a message for his parents and slotted into the jewel case, together with my hp number, in case I didn't get to see them and gotta send it to their house instead. But well, like I said, fate decided that we should meet.
Sorry to my family for missing out on the dim sum lunch, but well, nothing was more important to me at that moment than to be there with his parents, listening to all their stories and sharing whatever I could with them. Ishi, were you with us when we were talking about you? About your bedroom that's without a bed, about your first choice as comp engin b4 you switched to mass comm at the last min, about you cycling to dunman high to take a look at the sch, about you loving to eat jap food, about you always doing things last min and never buffer in more time, about you being a thrify boy and a perfectionist? I think you were. =)
Hey, I also helped one of your fans solved a Sec 4 algebra problem. Haha. I was so sure that I couldn't do it when they asked, and I told them not to have high hopes on me becase I am a mass comm student. =p But i DID IT! Haha. & glad I managed to help them, even if it's just one qns. Do you know how much they love and adore you? Your daddy mummy said they'll be there every day, rain or shine, from start till end, and when the temple closes, they will clean and wipe your altar personally instead of letting the caretaker uncle do it. The uncle says that even someone who's 100-year-old and passed away does not have the overwhelming amount of visitors that you have every single day. WOW. Really. You are loved. I hope you know that. Your parents loved you deeply too.
Was glad to spend some time alone with you at your urn this time. & hey, last time I sobbed more than I talked, but today I only shed one tear. =p It's not that I don't miss you as much, but I'm really learning to be happy when I think of you because I would think that's what you want me to do.
Will visit you again when I'm back from Europe. & soon, we will be sending you to your new beginning on 15 August. Hope you'll find your xing fu then k k...
~Summer~ 12:08 PM
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Right. Sorry I've been out of action for long. Decided to live like a hermit for awhile. To those whom I made you worry for me, my apologies. I'm learning to be stronger.
Had a Hall 6 blk 35 outing on Sat. Met up wif pple like Cindy, Diana Tay, Dino, Linlin, Zhikai, Changyao, Jiawei, Willie, Steph and Yihui. Wow. Haven seen some of them for ages. Much as I'm still trying to untie the knot within me, it still feels good to meet up wif these old frenz. esp the gals, we were once so close back in blk 35, how we participated in all the InterBlock Games, the potlucks, the night gatherings, the fun & laughter that we created in the usually quiet blk. hee. Yup. Hall 6 did have alot of my happie moments.
Finally also saw Sisi and uncle po, after such a long while. Haven been to Al Tivo for a long long time, and the view is still magnificent. It was good to catch up with her and tok about wat's up wif our lives recently. tinking of organizing a BBQ for the badz gals to celebrate dino's and xinjie's bdaes before i leave for europe. at her new house. sounds good. =) i love badz gals' gatherings.
Made a trip down to Man Fatt Lam temple today. Realised it's actually the temple that we always passed by when we go Hazel's house. Haha. But i never did know its name. Well. Now I do. It's the first time in my life I went to pay my respects to anyone. Well, my dad's parents died before i was born. My mum's parents are divorced and i dun even now who's my grandpa, and unfortunately he passed away too before i knew it. now my popo is still living and very much loved by me. So, the first is ishi. my dear friend.
Spent the whole nite and morning doing a little gift for him. wif our pics, our memories, and all the words dat i wanna tell him. not sure if he'll eventually see it anot, I'm hoping he will, but at least it feels better by letting everything out. I told him i am going to wait till the day he appears in my dreams. Haha. & i do hope when i see him, he'll be a happy person, from the bottom of his heart.
The power of time is amazing, isn't it? Time juz erases so much things. Good and bad memories, happie and sad moments, sometimes no matter how hard you resist, they all get swept away with time. Aaron said it's unfair that as time passes, there'll be a day whereby we will not feel hurt when we think of our lost friend. It's true to an extent, but I guess that's what he wishes for us to do. To feel happy when we think of it, instead of to cry. To embrace and cherish the fact that we once had our happy moments, instead of lamenting over the loss. To be contented with what we already have, instead of craving and regretting that we can't have more. Right? I hope so. & I'm working my way towards that. One day, when I think of you, I will have a smile on my face. Becos' our friendship is something I am blessed with, I am glad for, and I am contented with.
Time, don't ever take away my happy memories. I wanna write them down, capture them on film, put them on videos so that I can keep them for as long as I live. I always thought my heart is the best camera for it captures the most beautiful and longest lasting moments. But I realised the power of time is sometimes stronger than my heart no matter how hard I try, especially as I grow older and my memory is not as good as how it used to be.
Still, I won't give up. Never. The positive shuang never concedes defeat. Keke.
To my friends, I'll be fine soon. Pls don't worry for me. Appreciate each and every one of you.. Hugzzz.. We need to do some catching up soon.. =)
~Summer~ 6:39 PM
Monday, July 02, 2007
Whenever i'm alone now, i think of you.
When i'm on the train, when i'm on my bed, when i'm missing you, i listen to yr songs.
Hearing your voice makes me feel you are here beside me.
Dearest ishi, my one and only partner during apollo days, my always special friend, i'll hold you close to my heart always and forever.
For you'll continue to live in me always.
~Summer~ 8:52 PM