During CNY, we called home to wish our families a happy new year and also to chat with them. When I was chatting with my da sao, it was nice to share with her on en en's development while she told me more about my niece Rena and how she's growing up now.

Well, one question which she asked me, and which also had been lingering on my mind for quite some time, was whether I would go back to work when we get back to Singapore. She said she almost almost quit her job, but eventually didn't. I also had a friend who gave up her job to work from home just so she could take care of her baby boy.

Hmmmm. So the question is, should I be a housewife and stay at home to be a good wife and mummy, or re-integrate back into the work society and prove my self worth?

I dunno. It's a question mark at this point of time.

One side of me says that it's better to go out and work and have dual income for the family. Because we need to support not only ourselves, but our kid (or kids) and our parents as well. It's not that jw makes too little, nor does he make a fortune, but it's always better to be prepared for rainy days and start saving for our children's future expenses. And also, I have a strong urge to go out there and strive hard and prove to myself just how good I can be. Come on, I spent like 18 years in school, reading book after book, taking test after test, writing exam after exam, and what do you mean, just give everything up after coming to Sweden and going back to SG? Well, I guess to me, it's a waste of potential, and a waste of all the money and efforts my parents spent in my education. Not to mention, my own blood and sweat and tears before I got to where I am.

But then again, another side of me says that I love my baby so much and after spending with her nearly 24 hours everyday for the first 2 years of her life, I can't help but think that I wanna have her by my side and I can't bear to leave her for more than a few hours. Probably she will miss mummy too! Hee. Well, this means if I go back to work, I might just give up some precious family time which can never be bought or earned back. Is it worth it? It feels like I can give up the whole world for Angel, so is there anything that I can't forsake?

Well, and for me, I don't hope to stop at one, nor does jw I presume. We would love to have a baby sister or baby brother for Angel when she gets abit older. And if so, wouldn't I wanna spend more time with my dear little kids? Or should I be thinking, I need to earn more $$ since more kids means greater expenses and if I wanna think for their good, I'd better be able to support them and take care of them well. Then again, like jw had questioned before, how much $$$ is enough when we keep saying it won't be enough? I dunnoe. It's quite a dilemma for me, I think.

Hehe. Well. Right now, I still have a couple of years to spend here in Sweden. Life is really good and simple as it is now, and mummyhood may be tiring but is extremely rewarding. I probably will enjoy each day here to the max before I ponder bout the question when I return to homeland. We should always cherish the present, yeah? Tata!!