Tuesday, October 02, 2007
Just last nite, I was trying so hard to think of a good fren's house number, which I used to call almost every nite in sec sch. But try as I might, I simply could not recall the 8 digits. I just can't. Why? It was all so familiar to me. We would chat almost every nite, & although his was a private number and my caller ID couldn't detect it, but I vividly remember dialling those numbers every so often. Now, I just can't remember what they are.
It suddenly dawned on me that, alot of things in life are forgotten as time passes. To an extent that it's scary. Do you have such feelings like me?
To forget how to write alot of Chinese characters.. When last time it was all so easy to us in school, now it cracks our brain to pen down some of the simplest characters.
To forget the names of some friends whom you used to see everyday. Be it in school, in ECAs, or frenz made outside sch. When you see his/her face on the streets now, you just glance at him/her for a few more seconds, wondering just why this face is so familiar. When you do remember, it's too late because he/she is probably gone or lost in the crowds. If you don't remember, well, maybe you might not have the chance to bump into him/her ever again in your entire life..
To forget that you have actually bought so many bags/shoes/clothes which are stacked away in the wardrobes. Sometimes, while rummaging through the piles of clothes in search of that fav top which i think I MUZ wear for the day, I come across so many forgotten tops/skirts/pants. Only when I lay them right in front of me, do I remember HEY i did buy all these! But why the hell am I not donning them anymore...
To forget where you put your beloved necklace/earrings/bracelet. & when you need them most like when you search frantically for them just before you attend a wedding, they are nowhere in sight. When you least think of them, they pop up right before your eyes as if to mock your bad memory.
To forget some scenes of your favourite movie, though at one phase of your life you could memorize the movie backwards and knew exactly what each actor was going to say. Yesh. You can only remember that the movie touched your heart, but you forgot why it did. You might remember the movie title & the cast, but you just don't remember the plot.
To forget the tune/lyrics of one of the songs that meant so much to you once upon a time. Try as you might when you are in the shower attempting to hum the tune, or on your bike trying to remember what were those lyrics your ex sang to you, that part of the memory is already gone.
To forget how you were as a child. Because everything dat you know about childhood was what you gathered from your parents and relatives. I don't remember I was a bad tempered child, I don't remember I only let 3 pple carry me (dad, mum & popo) and would bawl if anyone else tried, I don't remember crying till I went green in the face nite after nite and scaring the wits out of my parents, I don't remember having permed hair, I don't remember much. All I knew, I knew it from my mum or grandma. How real is this? When you don't feel it inside you, but yet you have to believe that you talked and behaved the way others say you did. It feels kinda weird, doesn't it? Maybe all children suffer from amnesia, or at least partial amnesia. Because so many memories vanish as we move onto adulthood.
Now, if that ain't enough...
What if one day...
I forget how I grew up to be the person I am...
I forget how it felt when i finally graduated from NTU...
I forget how the badminton gals look like...
I forget where I was born...
I forget how many colours there are in a rainbow...
I forget my wedding anniversary..
I forget my children's names..
Well well, that will be when I know I'm really getting on wif age.. haha.. & reallie reallie old.. I guess, well, it's just human. It's part & parcel. To live, to forget, to forgive, to move on. Maybe we can forget all the above, but if there's one thing that cannot be erased, I guess it's Feelings. We'll never forget how something or someone made our hearts feel, so long as we are alive. At least, this is how I hope so. There are so many things I hope I will always remember.
& one last thing, may we never ever forget what it's like to Love & Be Loved...Because it makes life so much more meaningful...
~Summer~ 11:34 PM