The year of the pig was a good start for me. I had a good time at the reunion dinner with my family. This was despite some usual hiccups over how the steamboat should be cooked btw dad and the rest at popo house. Dad says we should be free to cook watever we wanna eat, but they say there's a very systematic way of cooking steamboat and deciding what goes in first and what goes in last. For eg. we must put in all the meat at one go, and no one is supposed to put in the vege till they say it's time to put it in. The logic is that the cooked food cannot be mixed with raw ones. Alrite, though me and my mum seek to differ, but we respect their tradition and went along with it. My dad was unhappy though, and he chop chop ate for 10mins and left the table.
Dear came over to stay at our house on the eve. Wow, it's the first time he did so, and felt really special to me. New room, new furniture, new start. Love the fact that I finally have a room of my own, and a green room somemore with Xiao Zhu's poster. Hehe.
Chu yi was the usual visiting for us. We went to Popo house, then went to jw's relatives' houses for visiting. At nite we went to his Ah Ma house, and Ah Ma was throwing tantrums and refused to take ang pow $$ from anyone. We played the usual mahjong, poker cards and all. Then at nite we met jw and his frenz at Movida at St James. It was fun playing games, dancing, chatting. Alas jw got quite drunk when we got back. I was so worried next day we'll be late for visiting.
& yesh Chu er, we were indeed late. Not becos we couldn't wake up, for I woke jw up in time. But becos he heard the time wrongly over the phone with my mum. Got a earful from mummy, but well well, in the end it was ok. But today we had no luck at poker, and regardless of whether we played blackjack or in between, our cards were terrible! End up we lost about $240 in all. Uh oh. The nite was just as bad at his dua kor's house. Haha. Dear's cards were really bad at xi gi bi and he lost $110 to his cousins. Well, mine was not that bad but not that better off as I lost $30 too when usually I will win abit one ley. Hehe. Jw was so fed up that he ended up betting more and losing even more. Aiyoh. Guys.
Jw had to work the whole of Chu san. And lucky me was off for the whole week. Hehe. Thanks to OMD for giving me two days of official leave and one day of annual leave. I decided to do smtg useful this week. Hehe. So on Chu san, i had secondary frenz' gathering at Weijie's house. Luv spending time with all of them. Oh well, I lost $50 at blackjack again! It's my worst card game. And even Texas Holdem I lost a few dollars. Hoho. Oh, even mahjong I lost $5! What a year. First time I lose everything. But nvm, one year once, so I told myself to just enjoy and have fun in the process. & yeah it was fun!! =)
On Chu si, I went to the dentist. Finally. Dentist told me my last visit was in 1999. *faintz* So he asked me what I wanna do. I said "General checkup and polishing". He said "Ok. I will also do patching for you if I find any." Omg. Thanks to my lucky stars, he didn't find any cavities and I didn't need to bu ya. But he said muz go see him every half a year. Yes, sir!! =p In the afternn, me and jw went to popo house to play mj with her and ah yi. Mahjong is my popo's fav game, but yet she always end up unhappy when she lose $$. Mummy always say her pai pin very bad, and it's very hard to play with her. True enough, today popo throw tantrum again. But if you scold her or say her, she'll end up very sad. So we just learn to shut up and let her have her way. Afterall she's so old and she juz wanna have some fun. Once, jw chided me for being rude to my popo when I asked her not to care so much about winning $$. That was one of my saddest moments. To have my bf telling me off on how I treat my family. But alrite, mebbe it was for my own good. So I learnt to give way to popo more, despite her curt behaviour.
On Chu wu, I went to Cali Fitness. Hoho. After so many lazy weeks, I finally picked up enough motivation to utilise my membership once again. Went for Body Combat and Street Jazz. Yeah my body ached like hell but it feels good. =) Hehe. At nite, me and jw went to watch Ghost Rider at Cineleisure. Free tix! Cool. We've watched Just Follow Law, Protege and Ghost Rider this month at complimentary rate. =) I luv watching movies. It seems like one of the only few entertainment activities for Singaporeans, but somehow I just like it lar. Hehe. Oh did I mention we saw Daniel Wu and Louis Ku at the premiere of Protege? Unexpectedly cos I dunno they were coming. So I was a happie gal dat nite. Coincidentally my ah yi and popo and uncle's family were all there at Vivo too! Popo said she saw Louis Ku's golden hair only. Haha, so farnie.
Back to my CNY, on Chu liu, which is Friday, I went to see my dermatologist and shopped awhile at Orchard. Then at nite went wif jw to meet his good fren junwei3 and meiqing at 85 mkt then we went Movida again to meet the rest. That nite was all booze and music and fun till jw got drunk and dat was when my CNY started to take a turn for the worse.
As usual, he started blabbering nonsense when drunk and was puking in the toilet. I wonder how cum his frenz can't tell he's drunk and only I can.. Hmmm.. Guess I'm over accustomed to his behaviour and habits. We didn't leave at 3am as promised, and alrite, even though I had to wake up at 7.30am to teach at Berries, I didn't wanna spoil his fun. He asked me to take cab home myself, but I didn't. If I took cab home, he won't be able to drive his car at all and he needs it for his cousins' outing tmr. So nvm, we continued to play and have fun wif his frenz. I knew he was quite gone already, but he kept challenging some pple to drink wif him. & each of us still had a flaming lamborgini at 4 plus am. Strangely, I still felt ok despite all the chivas earlier on. But jw, neh, he's almost there liaoz.
When he finally decided to leave, well, I had to hold on to him for fear he would fall anytime. Once we reach the car, he concussed and fell asleep. OH MAN. I dunno my way home. Alrite, call me an idiot but I really cannot recognize the roads. I was so scared when driving, and had to desperately ask him to give me at least some directions. When finally we got back to my house, he was too drunk to do anything else and started puking in my toilet. Then he stripped to his undies and fell asleep after blabbering some nonsense. OMG. He reminds me of my dad and that's scary. I remember when I was young, I would always wake up in the morning just to see my dad sprawled across the living room, sometimes wifout his clothes on, and stinked of liquor and all his money, coins, hp, wallet, clothes will be lying all around. Do you like it? Neh, I don't. Not in the least. To see jw behaving like this even before we are married, it's quite depressing. I always tell myself he will change for the better and learn to put family as priority when we finally settle down.
Alas, mummy didn't think this way. She saw for herself that nite how jw behaved. The next morning, while I was away at work, jw slept till after noon with his phone off and none of his cousins nor parents could reach him. He, the organizer of the outing, was not there and they were frantically looking for him. His clever mum finally called my home and asked my mum to wake jw, and of cos my mum got a shock to see him still lying there.
I can't blame my mum for saying all she did to me that afternoon when I got home. I know deep down she loves junwei alot alot, and it hurted her to ask me to stay away from him. But she said she has walked the path that I am walking and she knows how much hurt I will end up suffering, like she did. She can't believe that this is not the first time jw has done this, and when I told her of all the times he broke his promise, or he got drunk, or he didn't come home and worried me and his parents for the entire nite, she was saddened and said that if he does this even before marriage, my days in the future might be even harder to bear. She also said that marriage is a lifelong decision, and wants me to think over it carefully over whether the person I'm with now is the one who can bring me happiness. She doesn't want me to end up in her position, where the love has died but it's too late for divorce. Gosh. First time my mum made me think so much. I know me and jw have hurt her, and perhaps conjured up her many unhappy memories. Sorry, mummy.
The ironic thing is even my dad asked me to stay away from jw, esp when he's driving when drunk. Alrite, so my dad's license got suspended for drunk driving, and now he's telling others to beware. That's a lesson learnt perhaps.
Just when I thought jw was getting so well with my family, this had to happen. There are some scars that can't be erased, and no matter how many good words I tried to put in for dearest jw, my parents will always remember that fateful nite. Maybe it ain't no big deal to you, to me, to youngsters who drink so much nowadays, but to my parents, it does, in a a big way.
I didn't go for Xuanxuan's bday celebration on Sat. I just spent the whole time on my bed, resting, sleeping, thinking about everything. It's always lidat. We quarrel, we talk, we tink about breaking up, we don't bear to, we patch up, we forgive, and then we quarrel big time again. It's a vicious cycle that I can't seem to climb out of, and I wonder when can we stop doing all this. Jw says he wans a family, wans a house, wans a baby wif mi. But seriously deep down I ask, how ready are you for it? Are you willing to sacrifice all that you are enjoying now and be tied down by a BB and a family? Sure, you love kids, you love me. But a family is an eternal commitment, not something you can take up when you're enthusiastic and give up when you're sick and tired of it.
Alrite. See. What a long CNY story I have to share. But if you are reading this and are worried about me, don't. I'm fine, and I'll always be strong enough to face my challenges in life. I'm not letting go of my relationship, not yet. After 3.5 years, it's not something I can give up on so easily. I respect my parent's wishes, but ultimately the decision lies in my own hands. I know jw is a good boy, and I sincerely hope one day he will be the man I wanna marry.
I've already heard of two break-ups recently. I don't wanna be the third. To my friends out there who are attached, pls treasure your loved one and give him/her all the love in the world. You really dunno what can happen tmr. To my friends who are single, hey indulge in those carefree days while you can! There's no rush to meet the right one, but I pray for you that one day when you do, it will be a lifelong love. To my mummy & daddy, I love you all and sorry to make you worry for us.
To jw, I still love you lots and I pray one day we will find the answer we are looking for..
Love, Shuang
~Summer~ 1:33 PM
My name: Summer Goh Yun Shuang
My wish: To lead a life with no regrets..
My belief: Life is beautiful & always full of hope.. Quote of the season: A baby will make love stronger, days shorter, nights longer, bankroll smaller, home happier, clothes shabbier, the past forgotten, and the future worth living for...