Friday, September 21, 2012
So time flies and it's been nearly a year since my new blog A Happy Mum started.
Good things have been happening for me and my family, so it really feels good to come back here after so many months and say that "Life is beautiful!" for which, I'm deeply thankful.
The best news of all is that I am now preggie with my No.2 and you know what, we simply can't wait to see her end of this year!
Oh, and we are also in the midst of packing up to return to our homeland in Singapore, finally. After four long, happy years in Sweden, it's now time to bid farewell. It's gonna be an exciting time for us ahead with all the changes happening in our lives and I can't wait to share more stories with you!
Oh, and we are also in the midst of packing up to return to our homeland in Singapore, finally. After four long, happy years in Sweden, it's now time to bid farewell. It's gonna be an exciting time for us ahead with all the changes happening in our lives and I can't wait to share more stories with you!
So for more updates and pictures, do hop over to A Happy Mum because seriously, you'll find everything about us there.
Now say it with me "Life IS beautiful!"
~Summer~ 9:50 PM
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Yes, I am back home safely. Thanks to the kind friends who had read my blog and sent me wishes through fb, sms and all. I do truly appreciate your concern and I promise I will be fine. I always will.So, I guess after the operation, it means I'm moving on and it's a brand new start in my life. Likewise, I guess my blog should have a new beginning too. So, to all my faithful blog readers, the bad news is I won't be posting on this blog anymore. (Ok, I might, just to say hi when I'm bored or write some jibberish). The good news is I will be moving on to a new one.
My new blog site is: http://www.ahappymum.com/
Yesh, I came up with the name before the miscarriage, of course. But nonetheless, I will always want to stay positive and be the cheerful summer that I used to be. So, a happy mum is the perfect word to describe me albeit the hurdles I had to cross in the past, now, or in the future. Everyone has, at some point in their lives.
Anyway, while I am still in the midst of chronicling and re-writing some of the important past events of my life, I think my new blog is ready to be published at the same time. New features of my blog include:
- Larger, clearer, nicer pictures
- Blog labels that categorize my postings for easy reading
- Comment box after each post (do leave some comment/feedback to motivate me in doing what I do if you like reading it)
- A facebook 'like' button after every post (if you are shy to comment, at least you can 'like' my post)
- Separate pages to devote space for my passion like art and craft, video making and my beloved baby
I promise I will be diligent and update it frequently, ok? I will also be writing up more on my first ever operation and more updates about my life here in Sweden. Cheers and enjoy reading!
Thank you for supporting It's SummerTime, no matter who you are, no matter where you stay!
~Summer~ 7:49 AM
Monday, October 10, 2011
So, I decided to summarize my story here.Here I am, sitting in front of my laptop as I typed this. I am not allowed to have any food or drinks, I am mentally preparing myself for what's going to happen in a couple of hours, I am still somewhat in denial over what happened.
The truth is as of today, I am 9 weeks pregnant. I still am, because my pregnancy hormones are increasing. The thing is, the doctors told me that my little baby was gone as early, or even earlier than, when I was 6 weeks pregnant. How could it be? I felt more pregnant than my first pregnancy, I had all the symptoms still and even my tummy was starting to show. Jw said that my 2-month old tummy this time looked like my 4-month old tummy previously! We were starting to think of names for our baby, guessing the gender, thinking of where to put the cot, and visualising our last summer hols in Sweden next year as a family of 4!
If not for the few drops of spotting I had at 6w2d, which the midwife actually told me it was nothing to worry and I did not need to go to the hospital, (which I did not heed and insisted on an ultrasound at the A&E), I would still be thinking that I am 9w pregnant now because there were subsequently no signs.
Which was why I told myself to cling on to the hope I have in my heart. The hope I got from reading so many other pregnant mums out there who got misdiagnosed or whose babies showed up only after 8-9 weeks. I waited. One week. Two weeks. Three weeks. I had a total of 4 u/s and all the doctors only verified my worst nightmare.
Sadly, my gestational sac is still empty as of today. Despite it is growing (at a super slow rate) and that my placenta and other pregnancy tissues are forming too. Yes, can you believe it? The only thing missing is a foetus, which alone should measure roughly 2.7cm by now and my sac alone wasn't even 2 cm.
I officially have a blighted ovum. It happens when a fertilized egg implants in the uterus but the resulting embryo stops developing very early or doesn't form at all. Since the gynae said that she believed I did have an embryo, just that it stopped developing, it meant that I did have, but lost, a baby.
There's pretty nothing much anyone can say now that will make me feel better. Yes, I have made peace with this matter and my tears have stopped. Everyone can say things like "At least you are young and can try again", "What matters is you are safe", "Things like that happen around the world", "It probably wasn't meant to be". BUT, the truth is that it still happened to me and nonetheless of how many kids I might have in future, it doesn't alter the sad fact that I just lost my baby. Do you understand? Maybe you will know my grief, if you have been through the same plight. If there was one thing I can remove from this world, it would be miscarriages. All mums deserve to have a safe, happy, healthy kid at the end of every pregnancy.
If you know me, I am such a sentimental, emotional and idealistic person which is why this blow is such a harsh one in my face. And my heart, it is bleeding. For now, I am just hoping that the operation goes smoothly later and tomorrow will be a brand new start. Yes, I'm heeding the doctor's advice, finally, to have a minor operation to let them perform a suction to extract all my pregnancy tissues, placenta and whatever that is. I know I have to get myself out of that denial state sooner or later, no matter how unwilling I am. For the first time, I'm going to be knocked out by general anesthesia and lie on the operating bed.
Well, the only one who can console me best now is probably Angel. She hugged me when I cried, she patted my tummy and still told me to be careful of baby, she smiled at me and seemed to tell me that things will be all right soon. She is also the reason why I want to keep myself strong, keep myself safe, keep myself positive. I still have this lovely little girl to look after and even when my world comes tumbling down, she will always be there with me, giving me faith, hope and strength.
To my hubby, sorry for putting you through this ordeal. I know we are both tormented by this waiting game and devastated by the fact that even our last ray of hope was demolished today. Let's hope that the operation goes smoothly later and this matter will have a closure and enable us to move on, ok? I will be fine, I promise.
To the baby I once had but lost, please know that mummy loves you with all she has and always will.
~Summer~ 12:23 AM
Sunday, October 02, 2011
Hi, I am currently going through what I would say is the toughest period of my life so far in all my 28 years.
All I can do is to cling on to that possibly 0.01% of hope and wish with all my heart that a miracle does happen.
So, I will likely be taking a break from blogging for a while, but will definitely be back to write my story and more updates about my life.
Till then, please pray for me and wish me luck. Cheers!
~Summer~ 5:32 PM
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
It's the time of the apple again!
It was the Äpplemarknaden in the town of Kivik over the last weekend. Again.
It's actually amazing how year passes after year. This was my 3rd apple festival already! The first was even before I was preggie, the second was last year when Angel was a 10-month old infant who had to be pushed around in a stroller, now this time she is a 22-month old toddler who loves to run about. That mean she could finally pick her own apples too!
Angel just got her haircut. By me. Notice how our hair look similar? Jw keeps saying we look like ah tuk. Nerdy. Fine, next time you cut for her, okie dear? =)
She definitely had more fun this year. Like how she drank near 4 cups of apple juice samples, tasted a apple hamburger even touched the apple portrait made out of 35,000 apples.
One of the highlights was still the apple picking session, where this time she could run about the orchard and choose for herself the apples she liked to pick. Well, she usually chose the lousy ones.
The weather was also great on that Sunday afternoon, a bright warm sun against clear blue skies. This might jolly well be our last apple festival, so I really cherished every bit of it. Oh, we also bought 6 cartons of 3-litre apple juice and 2 x 2kg of fresh apples, plus we picked another 1kg. Guess what fruit comes after lunch and dinner for the next two weeks?
~Summer~ 7:19 AM
Sunday, September 18, 2011
So I've finally started working on ideas for Angel's 2nd birthday party. Yay yay. It's the time of the year again!
I've decided to theme it a Disney party since she visited Disneyland this year and fell in love with it. (Which kid won't?) I think it will be fun to have lots of Disney pictures and decorations to celebrate this joyous occasion with her.
So, till more updates!
By the way, if you are wondering why I did not post more updates of my summer road trip or why I had been lagging in my posting recently, that's because I am working on a BIG project. Yup. In addition to Angel's party.
The news is: My blog is moving! Yeah. I think this blog is in a need of a makeover after being in use for so long. So, I'm currently working on my new blog which will definitely be more exciting, organized and I promise I will keep it updated! =) It will also incorporate some of my passions in life, like art & craft, video making and chinese writing.
So, if you are a supporter of my blog, do stay tuned and I'll announce the new website as soon as I get it published and running! Wish me luck for the party and for my blog! =)
~Summer~ 6:06 PM
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Outdoor shoots are always fun to us. We'd like to think of ourselves as a rather sporty family (though I can't remember when was the last time I picked up the racket).
So, our outdoor theme was S-O-C-C-E-R!!
I think Angel looked really cute in the Liverpool jersey outfit though. And yeah, she loved to kick some balls. =) The photo shoot went really well and we had lots of fun coming up with fun poses in the big green field. =) Hooray to a successful second family photo shoot!
~Summer~ 10:09 PM
The second theme of our photoshoot was a love storyboard where we summarized our love journey in 8 pictures. I thought this theme was really fresh, unique and the props (thanks fangting for doing them!) made it all look very cute and sweet.
So, here goes my 8-year love story.
We had many fun and wacky behind the scene pictures too. The nice thing about this theme is that you can get to be as creative and give as many face expressions or cute actions as you want! =)
~Summer~ 9:38 PM
The B&W series (with banana, bread and book)
So, here are the final selection of our family photo shoot. First up is the B&W series. I've never really done a B&W series before especially at such a close up, but it worked pretty well and I was glad that Angel had so many good shots too!
She's a funny baby who insisted on having props like banana, bread, book and ball. Tell me bout it, they all start with 'B'. But well, anything to make her smile for the camera, we will do it. =)
We also had some nice couple shots, just jw and me. I think we did pretty well with the poses, especially jw who seems to have a flair for it. Hehe. Made me feel like I was back to my graduation photo shoot or wedding photo shoot all over again.
I specially loved this pic. Made me feel like a supermama. Hehe. Supermama to the rescue of trapped papa! His expression scored 100% here too. Hee.
Much thanks for fangting for the makeup and hairdo, as well as to shuhong and glenn for being our photographers. Also grateful to my dear for participating 100% in it and that we had so much fun out of it as usual. Lastly, to my baby, you are definitely the best model out there! Thanks for all your smiles and just being the lovely you!
~Summer~ 9:17 PM
I'm quite a fan of the Top Chef show hosted by Padma which is currently showing on TV3 in Sweden.
Today I was thrilled to hear that this season's finale will be held in SINGAPORE!!!
Oh yeah, these US chefs are going to battle it out in the familiar setting of kopitiams, hawker centres and chinatown. I bet it will bring back a sense of nostalgia.
Can't wait to see it tmr. For those interested, it will be aired at 7:00pm on TV3.
~Summer~ 5:28 AM